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July 30, 2010


10 Things a Congregation Can Do to be Single Adult Friendly

Prepared by Single Adult Ministries

1. Identify the single adults in your congregation and on your responsibility list. Remember that single adults includes those who have never-married, divorced, and widow/widowers. In other words, any person without a spouse is a single adult.

2. Become single adult sensitive. Attempt to listen to announcements, lessons, sermons, etc. as a single adult. Does "man" equate "husband"? Does "woman" mean "wife"? Would single adults feel comfortable? Would they feel out-of-sync since "family" appears to be the norm? Does "family" mean husband, wife, two kids, two pets, two cars?

3. Recognize singleness as a viable lifestyle. It is possible to read some of Paul's writings in his New Testament letters and build a strong case for singleness. Admittedly, that probably was not his intent. It is possible to affirm single adults and their singleness without undermining any family ministries. Some single adults are unmarried due to dating standards as Christians. Others have experienced the death of a spouse. Some are single as the result of the decisions of others--leaving their family responsibilities, continuing abuse behaviors directed toward themselves and others. Remember it is statistically impossible for everyone person to be married--even eliminating age and race barriers. 

4. Realize single adults will be a permanent part of the population. As baby-boomers continue to mature, there will be an increasing number of single senior adults. Consider the following statistics: Single adults represent almost 40 percent of the population of those over 18 years of age. In 1993, these 73 million adults almost doubled the 37.5 million single adults of 1970 while the married population decreased from 71.7 percent to 58.1 percent.

5. Build a relationship with a single adult. While you may know a person who is a single adult, do you know how that person thinks? What feelings does he or she experiences during and as a result of a church service? Do you know what his or her goals, hopes, and dreams are? If not, take time to develop a relationship. Walking beside an individual provides valuable insights into the issues and challenges he or she face.

6. Recognize the adulthood of single adults. Our society recognizes marriage as the rite of passage into adulthood. When individuals do not observe this rite, they tend to feel out-of-balance. Single adults hold responsible positions in the corporate world. Some own and operate their own businesses. Yet when they attend church, they frequently find themselves being viewed as less than mature.

7. Encourage involvement in Single Adult Ministries events. This may be in your church or it may mean participating in events offered by other churches. It is not necessary to fear that single adults will begin to attend other churches. Experience shows that single adults whose spiritual needs are being met in a congregation, seldom begin to attend the other church on a regular basis. They have established and maintain an identity with the local church, while the "other church" provides the opportunity to network with other single adults.

8. Realize that some single adults had reached a place of contentment with their singleness. Accept this contentment. This does not mean they have closed the doors to future relationships. Rather, it means they have learned to be content at this stage of life.

9. Be aware of events that create stress for single adults. These events will vary with each single adults. However, here are some trigger-events:

•  loss or threatened loss of employment
•  financial difficulties--remember there is only one person to provide an income
•  parenting challenges--parenting was designed as a two-person responsibility. Single-parents may need assistance in providing role models and mentors for their children.
•  death of a parent. This is especially difficult for never-married adults. These individuals have lost a major identity. Some report feeling like an orphan.
•  death of a friend. Friends for many single adults become like family. Therefore, the death of a friend is traumatic.

10. Remember we are all part of the Body of Christ. Our identity in Christ is based on a personal relationship, regardless of marital status. When the Body of Christ functions at its best, there is a role for each person.








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